There is a best part of each phase, so
today I'm going to give seven tips for those of you who are in an unstable
relationship, to help us revive it. Wonderful!
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1. First tip: speak your mind
It is very important for us
to rekindle the flame of the relationship or simply realign a relationship that
you see is not going very well. This is super important at any stage of the
relationship: in the beginning, in the middle, in the blur, when everything is
going well and when things are not going well. What is it? Speak your mind
every day.
I swear to you that every
day I read messages like this: "But Kátia, I give him a lot of hints, I
approach him, I leave him hanging and he doesn't understand." If I tell
you, he really won't understand because he doesn't have a crystal ball.
Sometimes, the other
person's language is different from your understanding, so just because you, my
dear, thought something in your head and looked at him doesn't mean he'll
understand what's going on in your brain. He won't. So tell me! When you do A,
B, C, I get irritated. Learn to communicate, learn to talk about what you don't
like, what bothers you and also what you like.
2. SECOND TIP: Praise
Compliment. We
humans are driven by compliments. Even if you don’t realize it, we like to be
complimented, and the other person feels the same way. It’s really boring to be
in a relationship where you’re always pointing out flaws, where you’re always
criticizing, where you’re always saying, “Oh, why didn’t you do this?” or “Oh,
why didn’t you do that?” If the person did something that makes you happy,
something that pleases you, compliment them!
Say, “Wow, I love it when you help me with this or that.” It boosts the
ego, it feels good for the person receiving the compliment, but most
importantly, it makes us feel good when we give the compliment. I’m a big
believer in the concept of energetic vibration. When you say something
positive, it resonates with you first before it reaches the other person.
3. THIRD TIP: Share tasks
Learn to divide tasks,
learn to delegate. I'm speaking directly to us women. We have a huge difficulty
delegating because, if you're like me, you always think that the other person
won't do it as well as you, right? You say, "I'll do it myself," and
you start doing everything. Don't do that, my dear. Do you know why? We
overload ourselves too much, giving us more reasons to complain.
Real life is like this: you
ask someone to do something, like take out the trash, and they take 10 minutes
to do it. You say, "No, I'll do it," and then you take out the trash.
So they think, "Okay, if they've already done it, I can keep watching my
movie, playing video games, playing with the kids, rolling around with the
dog." Why would they do that if you're going to do it all?
One thing that made my life easier when I learned to do this in my relationship
was delegating, and not just to my husband, but to the children as well. They
need to have their roles, their responsibilities. It's a long process, but when
they learn, for example, to keep their closet organized, even if it takes time,
it's important.
4. FOURTH TIP: Take care of your appearance
Don't get mad at me, guys, but this is the truth.
Women and men too, after a certain amount of time in a relationship, start
walking around the house looking like a mess, with messy hair, wearing old
clothes.
I'm not saying you need to wear makeup and be all dressed up all the time, but you need to maintain a minimum of personal care and hygiene. This is important for our self-esteem and also good for our partner.
5. FIFTH TIP: Know how to lose an argument
Know how to lose an argument. Now, you might think I’m crazy, but there’s a great question that goes like this: Would you rather be right or happy? Many times, we get into an argument and we don’t want to lose at all. But many times, it’s okay to give in. Emotional Intelligence is knowing how to control our emotions when they arise, avoiding unnecessary conflict.
6. TIP SIX: Have a personal life
Have a
personal life outside of your relationship. The other person can't be your only
focus. Maintain your friendships and do things you enjoy alone. This is healthy
for your relationship and helps you maintain your individuality.
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